Spending a Week With My Parents (As told by Ryan’s Snapchat)

I spent a week with my parents and documented some of the strange things I found around the house on Snapchat. Let’s take a look…

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Literally only one type of cereal in the house. At least Cinnamon Pecan cereal tastes better than it looks.


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I’m guessing this was  eventually returned?


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This charity just can’t take a hint. They’ve probably spent $50 mailing me letter over the years for a $10 donation 10 years ago.


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Feel free to save this picture if you ever need help setting up a scanner.


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I think this is my sister’s but still embarrassing.

Stay tuned for more blogs like:

  • STEVE QUOTES PART 2. Featuring quotes like “Hot yoga? I thought that was the dress code.”
  • AN UNBIASED RANKING OF EVERYONE NAMED RYAN KELLEY (THAT WE KNOW OF). Spoiler alert one of the categories is the quality of your blog.

Cut-Throat Statistics: Does order matter?

The purpose of this study was to determine whether it is most beneficial to go first, second or third in a game of Cut-Throat (see below for games rules). Generally, the order of the game is decided by a game of Rock, Paper Scissors, with the winner getting to choose his/her starting position. So if you win the game of Rock, Paper Scissors, which starting place should you choose?

To answer this question, I kept track of the starting order and finishing order of 36 different games among players of similiar skill. The starting order of each game was randomized by a game of Rock, Paper Scissors, although the winner didn’t get a choice of his/her starting place, as is customary. The winner had to go first, second place second, and third last. This randomized starting order makes the assumption that Rock, Paper Scissors is truly a random game but the results weren’t as clear.

Cut-Throat is a billiards game played with three people. After making one ball, each player gets to decide which suite of balls they want; either lows (1-5), mids (6-10) or highs (11-15). Rather than pocketing your own balls, the object is to pocket all of your opponent’s balls.

Is three-way Rock, Paper Scissors (RPS) really random?

Not really but it was close enough. In theory, the results below should show each player finishing in each place 33% of the time— but it didn’t. 11points.com has a couple theories on why the game isn’t truly random.

  • Your brain is always making choices, whether you know it or not. In order for the game to be random, your choices would have to be random as well.
  • Larger studies show people throw paper 30% of the time and Rock and Scissors 35% of the time each.
  • People will often throw whatever just beat them.

1.1

Given the option, should you go first, second or third in Cut-Throat?

You should choose to go second! Maybe third overall but you definitely don’t want to go first. The graph below shows the player who goes second wins 47% of all games, vs. 36% for the third player and only 17% for the first player.

Graph 2.1

2.1

Graph 2.2

2.2

Graph 2.3

2.3

  • The first player is doomed from the start, making only 3.7 balls per game compared with players two and three pocketing about five and a half (see 2.1). The first player only made a ball on the break about 25% of the time, leaving several opportunities open for players two and three to take control on the game. This is true across all players as shown in graph 2.2.
  • Going second is usually the most favorable; however note that the third player makes the most average balls per game (see 2.3). Nonetheless, second place still wins more games overall because they get one additional turn in a victory (meaning if they pocket the last of the opponent’s balls player three doesn’t get an opportunity to respond).

Who is the best player of the group?

Unfortunately, it’s not me. Winning more than 33% of all games means you’re an above average player. There’s not an exact correlation between balls made and Win % but I would say our best players are Kyle, Bowen and Evan. Impressively, Kyle had the highest win percentage despite the highest percentage of being forced to go first (the worst starting position).

3.1

3.2

Nominate a Kelley Family Member for Most Awkward Christmas Card Appearance

I had a hard time putting these in chronological order but I think this is it… Please submit your vote at the bottom.

001

Love Steve, Laura, Erin and Rob??

002

Steve and I don’t smile with our teeth

003

Check out that gap between my teeth

004

More missing teeth

005

Note to self delete this one

006

Erin’s middle school year

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Where are Steve and Laura?

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That one time Wake was good at football

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I wish I had a time machine to get him a haircut

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Not out greatest work

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Ryan’s middle school year

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Wow what a filter

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Erin graduated from college!

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Erin and I had a photo shoot at UNC

015

Picking out a Christmas tree

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It says happy New Year cause we didn’t send it until January

017

The new kitchen is finally done!

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“There’s nothing wrong with this camera except it doesn’t work”

 

Coke vs. Pepsi vs. Coke Zero (a statistically insignificant study)

In full disclosure I don’t really drink sodas but I decided to do a blind taste test and rank them anyway. Here’s the main takeaway; the older Coke Zero formula is better, although they all taste about the same.

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Takeaways from Ryan: I used to be a huge jerk for always replying “No, Pepsi isn’t okay” given that I preferred Pepsi to Coke in a blind taste test. Also I may have missed every guess but at least I was able to differentiate between sugar and sugar-free.

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Takeaways from Evan: Evan likes to drink both Coke and Coke Zero so these results probably won’t affect his soda drinking habits. Plus it doesn’t really matter that he likes the old formula better because it’s now been totally replaced.

What to look for next: Cut-Throat (billiards) statistics: Does order matter? Is rock-paper-scissors really random?

Your high school class schedule: As told by Pulp Fiction

My friend Zach is studying to be a teacher so I put together a few “lesson plans” to get him started…

Geography Class:

Film GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

English Class:

Mrw GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

French Class:

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“A royale with cheese”

If there’s a smart mouth in the class…

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Civics:

It's illegal to carry it, but-but that doesn't matter, 'cause get a load of this.

“…if you get stopped by a cop in Amsterdam, it’s illegal for them to search you. I mean that’s a right the cops in Amsterdam don’t have.”

Embarrassing Pictures of Other People on My Phone

I really hope no one is mad at me after this one…

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This man is a teacher now.

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Looks just like Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder.

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Bobby practicing his sorority squat in the background.

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“Teenage pregnancy” Halloween costume.

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Middle School….

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Alex eating grapes in apple sauce??

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Lol.

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This entire album literally could have just been pictures of Vic.

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A little off topic but my mom forgot to turn off the grill one time…

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The 2012 Mount Tabor Academic Team….

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This one is def cool.

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We’ve all been there…

Uncovering Ryan’s Google Search History: An Exposé

Here’s a list of questions I’m too embarrassed to ask in public but just dumb enough I’ll post on the internet. Answering life’s toughest questions like  “how to food” and “is it safe to buy advil from Mexico.”

May 12: “does butter have  carbs” –Surprisingly no, no carbs in butter.

May 7: “baby its 3 a.m. and I must be lonely” –Looks like I was looking for the Matchbox 20 song…

May 3: “a nation’s pride (1944)” –A fictional movie from the movie Inglorious Bastards.

April 3: “how many days in April” –Appropriately asked on April 3.

March 27: “mens book club near me” –This one wasn’t my idea…

March 24: “when guys brunch” –I don’t remember what was going on here… I do like brunch though.

March 21: “suddenly i don’t feel so insecure” –Strange I know but it’s a Sum 41 song.

March 21: “why do we have social security” –Mainly to decrease poverty for the elderly and protect people from poor financial investments.

March 19: “urban dictionary keeping it real” Find out what happens when keeping it real goes wrong here.

March 17: “fake news” –Lots of news about fake news.

March 14: “is charles schwab a bank” –I think so but the fact that I had to ask that question means I probably shouldn’t be using them.

March 12: “Can I spray paint beer bottles?” –Yes its generally safe if you ever have the need, just don’t get paint near the cap.

How Much Does it Really Cost to Have a Girlfriend: A One-month Study

I already know your first thought… Brittany (your girlfriend) is going to kill you! Probably true but I did it anyways. Over the past month, I kept track of every direct cost of having a girlfriend.

May 1: Britt bought ice cream for me. Cost: $3.5. Running total: -$3.50 (dollars to have a girlfriend each month).
May 4: Britt bought me an expensive cocktail at Calavera. Cost: $10. Running total: -$13.50.
May 8: I bought ice cream. Cost: $3.50. Running total: -$10.
May $19: I bought a round of drinks at Top O.  Cost: $6. Running total: -$4.
May 20: Erin (my sister) gave me tickets to a Brad Paisely concert. Cost: free! We went to dinner beforehand at the Loop. Cost: $9.50. Running total: $5.50.
May 23: Dinner at Imbibe, I had a gift card so it was basically free. Don’t go here for food though… 1 star.
May 31: So this one’s on me. I really wanted to go to a Green Day concert and I think the only way I could convince anyone to go with me was if I buy a ticket for Britt. Cost: $65. Running total: $70.50.

This isn’t a perfect sample size but here’s the verdict; $70.50 per month to have a girlfriend (which I think is actually one of the lightest months to date). In other words, $846 per year or $56,682 per lifetime but who’s counting.

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Ryan’s Car Survival Kit: 13 things that will either save your life or make your life slightly more convenient

Maybe this is just the Boy Scout in me but everyone should keep these things in their car. I can’t guarantee the save your life part but you’ll be dry when it rains, have light when it’s dark, and your swimsuit when it’s time to party.

  1. First-Aid Kit- I bought one from Walmart for $5 and added a few things to it.
  2. Flashlight- A close #2… Keep it in your glove box.
  3. Rain jacket/umbrella- If this were a bingo game this would be the free space.
  4. Cash- $20 should be fine. I stashed it in the first-aide kit so I don’t end up spending it on beer (but you could if you needed to).
  5. Pocket knife
  6. Duct Tape- For literally everything else.
  7. Jumper Cables
  8. Warm Jacket- It gets cold, even in the summer.
  9. Change of clothes- Mainly in case I ever spill coffee on me at work.
  10. Swimsuit- This is the slightly more convenient part ^^^
  11. Toothbrush/toothpaste
  12. Lighter- I don’t smoke, I just occasionally need to burn things.
  13. Cell phone charger- Assuming most people already have one anyway.

***BONUS POINTS: Don’t forget to check the air pressure in your spare tire, they do go flat!!