Author: rkelleyc

Uncovering Ryan’s Google Search History: An Exposé

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Here’s a list of questions I’m too embarrassed to ask in public but just dumb enough I’ll post on the internet. Answering life’s toughest questions like  “how to food” and “is it safe to buy advil from Mexico.”

May 12: “does butter have  carbs” –Surprisingly no, no carbs in butter.

May 7: “baby its 3 a.m. and I must be lonely” –Looks like I was looking for the Matchbox 20 song…

May 3: “a nation’s pride (1944)” –A fictional movie from the movie Inglorious Bastards.

April 3: “how many days in April” –Appropriately asked on April 3.

March 27: “mens book club near me” –This one wasn’t my idea…

March 24: “when guys brunch” –I don’t remember what was going on here… I do like brunch though.

March 21: “suddenly i don’t feel so insecure” –Strange I know but it’s a Sum 41 song.

March 21: “why do we have social security” –Mainly to decrease poverty for the elderly and protect people from poor financial investments.

March 19: “urban dictionary keeping it real” Find out what happens when keeping it real goes wrong here.

March 17: “fake news” –Lots of news about fake news.

March 14: “is charles schwab a bank” –I think so but the fact that I had to ask that question means I probably shouldn’t be using them.

March 12: “Can I spray paint beer bottles?” –Yes its generally safe if you ever have the need, just don’t get paint near the cap.

How Much Does it Really Cost to Have a Girlfriend: A One-month Study

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I already know your first thought… Brittany (your girlfriend) is going to kill you! Probably true but I did it anyways. Over the past month, I kept track of every direct cost of having a girlfriend.

May 1: Britt bought ice cream for me. Cost: $3.5. Running total: -$3.50 (dollars to have a girlfriend each month).
May 4: Britt bought me an expensive cocktail at Calavera. Cost: $10. Running total: -$13.50.
May 8: I bought ice cream. Cost: $3.50. Running total: -$10.
May $19: I bought a round of drinks at Top O.  Cost: $6. Running total: -$4.
May 20: Erin (my sister) gave me tickets to a Brad Paisely concert. Cost: free! We went to dinner beforehand at the Loop. Cost: $9.50. Running total: $5.50.
May 23: Dinner at Imbibe, I had a gift card so it was basically free. Don’t go here for food though… 1 star.
May 31: So this one’s on me. I really wanted to go to a Green Day concert and I think the only way I could convince anyone to go with me was if I buy a ticket for Britt. Cost: $65. Running total: $70.50.

This isn’t a perfect sample size but here’s the verdict; $70.50 per month to have a girlfriend (which I think is actually one of the lightest months to date). In other words, $846 per year or $56,682 per lifetime but who’s counting.

cost benefit 2

Ryan’s Car Survival Kit: 13 things that will either save your life or make your life slightly more convenient

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Maybe this is just the Boy Scout in me but everyone should keep these things in their car. I can’t guarantee the save your life part but you’ll be dry when it rains, have light when it’s dark, and your swimsuit when it’s time to party.

  1. First-Aid Kit- I bought one from Walmart for $5 and added a few things to it.
  2. Flashlight- A close #2… Keep it in your glove box.
  3. Rain jacket/umbrella- If this were a bingo game this would be the free space.
  4. Cash- $20 should be fine. I stashed it in the first-aide kit so I don’t end up spending it on beer (but you could if you needed to).
  5. Pocket knife
  6. Duct Tape- For literally everything else.
  7. Jumper Cables
  8. Warm Jacket- It gets cold, even in the summer.
  9. Change of clothes- Mainly in case I ever spill coffee on me at work.
  10. Swimsuit- This is the slightly more convenient part ^^^
  11. Toothbrush/toothpaste
  12. Lighter- I don’t smoke, I just occasionally need to burn things.
  13. Cell phone charger- Assuming most people already have one anyway.

***BONUS POINTS: Don’t forget to check the air pressure in your spare tire, they do go flat!!

Less than Four and Under 20: Ryan Learns How to Cook and So Can You! (Part 2)

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I’m not sure why but my last easy cooking post was by far the most popular post to date. So here it is…

Southwest Sweet Potatoes with 4 ingredients in 20 minutes.

  1. Throw some sweet potatoes in the microwave and hit the potatoes button

1

2.Take a can of corn, black beans, and diced tomatoes and mix together in a bowl

IMG_20170418_191314

3. Hollow out the potato a little bit and put the mix inside of the sweet potato.  Optional: Add cheese (ingredient #5, I get it). Done!!

Bonus Level!!! Take chicken breast and boil it on the stove for 10ish minutes. Maybe even throw in some taco seasoning?? When it’s ready, shred the chicken and throw it in the sweet potato!

 Idea originally came from lmld.org and I dumbed it down a lot

See Part 1 Here!

The Texting and Waiting Game… A Statistical Analysis

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I really hope this isn’t too confusing but here’s the basic hypothesis:

If it takes you a really long time to text me back, is that going to affect how long I take before replying to your text? I’ll test this hypothesis on three (unbeknownst to them) test subjects; my girlfriend (Brittany), my sister (Erin), and a guy friend (Harrison). But let’s start with our null hypothesis…

base-case

Here’s a graph assuming the Texting and Waiting game is an exact science. In this model if it takes you 4 minutes to respond to my text, I’ll wait exactly 4 minutes before responding to your text.

britt

PSA Brittany is my girlfriend. It looks like I respond to her texts pretty quickly here no matter what… I know better than that.

erin

So this data is a little skewed because most of the texts are all clustered around (0,0). It looks like it takes Erin (my sister) a long time to respond every now and then 🙂

harry

My buddy Harrison is notoriously bad at texting… but then again it doesn’t look like I’m all that better. Notice the axes quickly jump up to 16,000 minutes aka 11 days.

In Conclusion, I don’t have a conclusive conclusion on the Texting and Waiting Game. If anything, I think the time it takes me to respond to your text depends more on our relationship than how long it took you to respond.

As always, every post ends in a poll:

10 Things Google Knows About Me That My Own Mother Doesn’t Know

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I finally upgraded from my old, beaten-down Iphone 4s to the new Nexus 5x made by Google. And it’s insane how much this phone has learned about me. Some of it is very useful but some of the data is just creepy…

  1. Where I live: Okay so my mom knows where I live, but I never told Google where I live…. It just kind of figured it out.
  2. Where I parked my car: So anytime I get out of my car, the phone makes a memory of where I left it. I get that it’s a little silly for everyday use, but it might be very useful at a ball game or big concert.
  3. A timeline of everywhere I’ve been: The GPS is always on so it knows how far I’ve walked, where I’ve driven, where I took which photo… everything. It even includes stats like my average walking pace and what stops I made along the way.
  4. Every Restaurant ever: Anytime I walk into a restaurant, Google automatically pops up with a link to the menu and reviews. Kind of late to help decide on which restaurant, but I get it.
  5. Traffic: I can’t believe I was the last idiot still using Apple Maps until just a month ago. Just last week I was driving from Winston to Chapel Hill with my navigation off and phone in my pocket. Even so, Google was still tracking me and gave me a notification warning of traffic ahead and suggested another route. (It knew I was on the way home, see #1).
  6. Auto Photo Albums: This was one of the most surprising things. On Spring Break I went to Gulf Shores, Alabama, and took a few photos along the way. When I got back to Chapel Hill, Google had already organized the pics into an interactive slideshow.
  7. Who my friends are: So again I never told Google who my best friends are, it just figured it out and added them to my favorites shortcuts. (And yes, my mom knows who my friends are).
  8. Everything about Road Trips: It’s always ready to let me know when the next gas station is or what food options are coming up.
  9. Everything I’ve ever Googled: Google doesn’t forget. It uses my search history to come up news stories I might be interested in. For example, it will give my updates on UNC Basketball, election results, local news, etc.
  10. Everything I’ve ever said?: Only slightly concerning here… there’s a mode where you can turn on the phone’s microphone at all times so it can respond to your commands… but that also means it hears everything you say…

So this may not be the perfect phone for cheaters, terrorists or drugs dealers, but it’s been pretty good to me so far. Actually, I’m starting to get a little concerned now that I have all of this in front of me…

Sporcle Quizzes That Are Worth Your Time

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What is Sporcle? One might ask… It’s kind of like “Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader” meets a 12 hour TV marathon of Jeopardy. But there’s thousands of games on this website and you’re a busy person, so here’s the best of the best (of the best).

Can you name the movies from this portion of their posters?

This one is my personal favorite. The quiz will show part of a movie poster (like Ghostbusters or The Incredibles) and you have to remember what movie it came from.

Can you name the missing words from these 2000s hit song lyrics?

I bet you can’t remember all the lyrics to Hey Ya! and Ignition Remix.

Can you name the 4-letter words that will complete each of the clichés in this word ladder?

Word ladders are really cool. It’s a series of trivia questions and each answer shares 3 of the 4 letters with the answer above and below it. Is that too confusing? Here’s an easy one to get you started.

Can you name the corporate logos?

This quiz shows a bunch of corporate logos and you have to answer with who’s logo it is. See how much of a sell-out you are…

Can you name the 7 Sins, Dwarfs, and Spice Girls?

This is a matching quiz so maybe a little bit easier. I almost had it until I forgot all the Spice Girls.

Family Feud

Okay, so this one isn’t technically on Sporcle, but it still deserves an hour of your attention. It’s exactly what you think it is… Family Feud on your computer.

If you want to keep playing, there’s usually a button in the bottom left-hand corner for “Next Quiz,” or if you’re feeling lucky hit “Random Quiz” in the top right. Meanwhile, I’ve been back on Stumble Upon, so be on the lookout for “The Best of StumbleUpon: Part 2.” Here’s a recap in case you missed Part 1.