I held onto my grandparents 2002 Toyota Camry a lot longer than most people would have. It wasn’t just a car to me, it was a symbol of coming home and bringing people together. Whether it was seeing my grandparents pull into the driveway, or being 21 and coming home from college to visit my parents, this car has taken me to, and through, a lot of key life moments. Unfortunately, all good things eventually come to an end, and it’s finally time to say goodbye.
My grandparents Clarke and Peggy originally bought this car new from Dyas Toyota in Auburn, Alabama in 2002 for $18,970. The car went on to live many different lives over its 22 years of reliably serving the Holloway/Kelley family. Its first chapter began with shuffling grandkids around, attending Auburn football games, visiting family, and driving between bridge club (Peggy) and the golf course (Clarke). My sister and I would tag along in the back seat and my grandparents always had to put down the armrest in between us as a physical barrier to keep us from fighting. And there was always, always, chewing gum in the center console, which I later learned was because my grandfather had acid reflux, just like me.
When I got to middle school, the Camry stopped going to the driving range as much and spent a lot more time traipsing between doctor appointments. In March 2008, the car took us to my grandfather’s funeral. Not long after, the car moved east as my grandmother moved into the Salemtowne retirement community in Winston-Salem to be closer to us. Her eyes were getting weaker around the same time I got my learner’s permit, so I’d drive the Camry over to visit and some days we’d go out for a drive with no destination in mind. But most times we’d go to Allen’s Dairy Treats since no one could make a hamburger as good as them.
In November 2009, I passed the drivers education test in the front seat of the Camry. Being a high school kid, I didn’t have a lot of money so my dad taught me how to do basic maintenance like changing the oil. However, I used the little money I had to put in a new radio along with a set of subwoofers in the trunk that I bought off Craigslist. That part didn’t last long as I blew the subwoofers by playing it too loud. Around April of 2011, my dad and I spent all day shining up the Camry in the driveway so it looked just like the day it left the showroom (nine years ago at this point) to take me to the high school prom.
I graduated from high school in 2012 and the Camry followed me to Chapel Hill. Around September 2013, I picked up my future wife Brittany in the Camry for our very first date to go to a play at Playmaker’s Theatre on UNC’s campus. Unfortunately by this point my grandmother had passed on too. Both of my grandparents would have really loved Brittany. Especially my grandmother– I’ve never seen anyone read as many books as the two of them. After college, Brittany left town to attend ECU’s Physician Assistant school. The Camry didn’t have auto-pilot but it could just about drive from Durham to Greenville by itself since I made that trip so many times. In December 2022, the Camry drove Brittany and I to our wedding in Greensboro (note we drove home in a badass Cadillac). And around that same time, the Camry pulled into the driveway of our very first home together.
This is a bittersweet goodbye for sure. Don’t get me wrong I’m excited to get new features like a built in GPS, but I’ll miss my grandparents paper maps in the backseat pocket, and always having chewing gum in the center console.
Are you smarter than the 2012 Mount Tabor academic team? Or Zach’s 9th grade social studies class? Or have you at least read my blog posts? Take the four round quiz here to find out. My mom currently holds the record at 24/40 questions correct.
Round 1: But did you really read my blog though?
Round 2: Homeownership 101
Round 3: Rock and Roll Trivia
Round 4: Are you smarter than a high schooler?
Here’s the leaderboard as of 7/27/23. Let me know your score in the comments and I’ll add you to the list.
Artificial intelligence could soon put my blog out of business. But before throwing in the towel, who’s posts do you like more? To find out, I took some of my old posts and asked ChatGPT to answer the same topics.
1. What was the coolest cell phone in the early 2000’s?
Ryan:
The Samsung Juke. It doubles as an mp3 player, fits in your pocket, and the clock is reasonably accurate. The only con is that I’m not sure if it can actually make a phone call or not.
ChatGPT:
The Nokia 3310. With its physical buttons that required a Herculean effort to press, texting on the Nokia 3310 was like playing a high-stakes game of finger gymnastics. If you mastered the art of texting on this phone, you were considered a modern-day Shakespeare.
The George Foreman Grill, as presented by Evan and voted on by the Revolution
ChatGPT:
The Washing Machine.
It’s a marvel of modern technology, freeing us from the ancient burden of hand-washing clothes. It’s like having a magical vortex that devours your dirty laundry and spits out fresh, clean garments. But beware of the treacherous sock-eating monster that lurks within.
Colin’s Apple Cider, from my sister’s 1st grade class cookbook. Note this recipe has more sugar than water, and one of the ingredients is “one bowl.” Some of the other recipes in the cookbook included bizarre ingredients like 20 bumble bees??, raw eggs and flour (yuck!), and then nonsensical instructions like “cook at 12 for 11.”
ChatGPT:
Apple Explosion Delight:
Take peeled apples and give them a nice roll in glitter. Make sure they sparkle like magical disco balls. It’s all about that glitz and glamour in our recipe.
In a large bowl, combine the toothpaste and ketchup. Stir it up until it becomes a sticky, colorful mess. This is our top-secret sauce that will bring all the flavors together. Or maybe not.
5. Name something useful you learned from your dad
Ryan:
With boats, don’t ask how much it’s going to cost. You don’t want to know. Just do it.
ChatGPT:
Having a secret stash of snacks strategically hidden throughout the house ensures a constant supply of deliciousness. Whether it’s a bag of chips behind the sofa or cookies in the bathroom cabinet, be prepared for any snacking emergency.
6. Can you turn your craziest dream into a movie idea?
Ryan:
Movie Title: The Pirate from the Shadows
Plot: My sister Erin and I find out we have an evil step-brother. Because of a traumatic incident as a child at Disney World, he thinks he’s a pirate, and has been locked away for years in a mental hospital. He escapes and comes after our family for revenge, armed with a pirate ship and crew.
ChatGPT:
Movie Title: Chronicles of the Quantum Dreamers
Plot: In a world where dreams come alive and reality bends to the whims of the subconscious, a quirky group of individuals discover they possess the ability to control their dreams and enter a shared dream realm called the “Quantum Dream.”
Our protagonist, Max, a socially awkward math genius, finds himself trapped in a perpetual dream loop where he’s chased by a horde of rubber duckies armed with laser guns. Desperate to escape this nightmarish cycle, he stumbles upon an underground society of Dreamers, led by the enigmatic Dr. Lucidia.
Dr. Lucidia reveals that the Quantum Dream is under threat from an evil dream villain known as the Nightmare King, whose malevolent presence is infecting dreams with fear and chaos. Max, along with a colorful crew of fellow Dreamers, including a retired circus performer who controls dreams through juggling and a talking cat with a knack for riddles, embarks on a mind-bending quest to stop the Nightmare King and restore balance to the dream realm.
The only thing more broken than Carter’s love life is his wallet. As a broke high school student in 2012, he ordered the market price steak and lobster, and just about cried when the $80 check came. Moral of the story, Carter, if you have to ask… you still can’t afford it!
ChatGPT:
Carter, you’re like our very own Fez from That ’70s Show. I mean, with that wild hair and those big, innocent eyes, it’s like you were plucked straight out of the Jungle Book. And let’s be real here, we’re not entirely convinced you know how to read. Remember that time in Spanish class when the teacher asked about your weekend plans, and all you could muster up was “uhhhhh poptarts?” Yeah, Carter, we’ve got our doubts.
8. How much does it cost to have a girlfriend per month?
Ryan:
Grand Total: $70.50
May 1: Britt bought ice cream for both of us. Running total: -$3.50. May 4: Britt bought me a cocktail at Calavera. Running total: -$13.50. May 8: I bought ice cream. Running total: -$10. May $19: I bought a round of drinks at Top O. Running total: -$4. May 20: Erin (my sister) gave me tickets to a Brad Paisely concert. Cost: free! We went to dinner beforehand at the Loop. Running total: $5.50. May 23: Dinner at Imbibe, I had a gift card so it was basically free. Don’t go here for food though… 1 star. May 31: So this one’s on me. I really wanted to go to a Green Day concert and I think the only way I could convince anyone to go with me was if I buy a ticket for Britt. Running total: $70.50.
ChatGPT:
Grad Total: $220
Gift expenses: $50 – Because nothing says “I love you” like a bouquet of half-price gas station flowers and a last-minute, on-sale box of chocolates. Romance on a budget, folks!
Date nights: $100 – We’re talking about those fancy candlelit dinners at the finest fast-food establishments, complete with the extra-value meal and a shared soda. Classy, yet cost-effective.
Movie outings: $40 – Catching the latest blockbuster movies on discount Tuesdays, armed with a smuggled-in bag of stale popcorn and a pocketful of expired coupons.
Miscellaneous surprises: $30 – This includes those spontaneous moments of chivalry, like buying her a dollar store trinket or surprise serenading her with a kazoo rendition of her favorite song.
Emotional support: Priceless – Because being there for each other during good times, bad times, and the “I can’t decide what to wear” times is invaluable. Cue the sentimental music.
Brittany and I (along with lots of help from our dads) are trying to learn some DIY skills. Here’s a look back at the past few months…
Replaced a rotten deck post (scroll through)
Replaced a leaking garbage disposal (which had started pouring water five minute before we were about to leave for our wedding)
Brittany spackled and painted over lots of dog scratches
Straightened the fence (scroll through)
Patched over some holes in the wall
Made some minor color adjustments
Installed a ceiling fan
And lots more– changed locks, replaced dishwasher hoses, installed a flood light, sealed the driveway, refinished furniture (in process), and changed/installed smoke detectors, among others.
During my sophomore year of college, Jake McKinney gave me some great advice; “Always sit beside the prettiest girl in class.”
I soon found myself seated next to Brittany Simpson in Drama 116, “Perspectives in the Theater.” The class itself wasn’t all that interesting but it was still the highlight of my week to see Brittany two days a week from 9-10am. We’d pass notes, share answers, and giggle throughout the class. For our first unofficial date, we went to see “The Tempest” at Playmaker’s Theatre; a mandatory homework assignment for the class. During the second act, I finally worked up the courage to put my arm around her. Within a few minutes she was fast asleep with her head nestled into my shoulder. I knew this was something special but wasn’t exactly sure where we stood after the play… Had I really bored her to sleep?
Luckily, I knew Brittany was a volunteer tutor in the Spanish department. Even though Spanish had always been one of my best subjects, I swallowed my pride and signed up for homework tutoring with a special request to work with her. The effort was quickly rewarded as it turns out the feeling was mutual and Brittany had been looking for the perfect opportunity to invite me to the APO Christmas dance. By the end of the school year, I had successfully (awkwardly) asked Brittany to be my girlfriend and considered myself the luckiest guy in the world.
Unfortunately, this was just in time for the first major trial of our relationship as I was getting ready to spend six months studying abroad in Spain. We had just exchanged our very first “I love you’s” but were still worried about how the new relationship would endure across 4,000 miles. I’ll never forget crying in the airport as we promised to make it work. Despite the distance, we grew stronger and closer over time as we wrote letters so long it required extra postage. When Brittany asked me what I wanted for my birthday I didn’t hesitate saying, “Come visit me in Madrid.”
We graduated the following year and began our journey into adulthood together. This included another long distance stent as Brittany left for ECU’s PA school, but this time felt so much easier since it was only an hour and a half away. During most of my visits to Greenville, we’d end up at Coastal Fog coffee shop; Brittany studying diligently while I mindlessly browsed the internet. We still managed to fit in lots of exciting things too though, like celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin, climbing a 14,000 foot mountain in Colorado, and spending lots of time with friends and family. Life got even better in Dec. 2021 when Brittany graduated at the top of her class and we were finally reunited together in the same city… this time for good.
Being with Brittany has been the best eight years of my life but my favorite chapter is still to come.
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The big "R" in Ryan 