I’m in an exclusive small group that trades marginally politically incorrect memes that you probably wouldn’t want your grandmother to see. The group, aptly named “send memes,” has some of my best friends, some of my friends’ friends, and even a few celebrities like Dwayne the Rock Johnson (who was added against his will and never actually opened the chat). By now you probably already know I like to rank things, so let’s dive in. Who’s the best at finding and sharing memes?
The results were measured by looking at every meme posted in the group over the past three years and keeping track of which posts got the most “likes,” and who sent them. There’s probably over 5,000 memes in the chat but the “best of the best” memes all have at least six “likes” from the group, and usually involve satire, poking fun at PC culture, an irreverent twist on current events, or strangely, The Lord of the Rings. So here are the winners and losers, ranked by the number of memes submitted with 6+ “likes.” I’ve also included a sampling of each person’s top memes.
Ryan, Jimmy, and Wes were neck and neck heading into the fourth quarter but Ryan ultimately pulled away with the most consistent (meme) running game
1st Place: Ryan
With eight memes on the leaderboard, Ryan was the clear choice for the winner by volume. His posts generate widespread acclaim for mocking the absurdities of modern life; specializing in pop culture and office humor. Ryan is your bread and butter RB1.
A close second, Jimmy puts up powerful memes that bring back some serious childhood memories like binge watching Lord of the Rings, playing Pokemon Yellow until 4am, and fighting with your friends over the Halo controller. This friendly rivalry could turn into an all out fist fight come playoff season.
Wes is a serious contender, having shared the most popular meme ever in the group shown below. I don’t totally understand it but I guess everyone else does. Regardless, Wes’ has an undisputed monopoly on timely and spicy memes on current events.
Luke is a dark horse candidate that could blast into the top 3 on a moment’s notice. He can take any scenario and spin it in a completely different direction with his sinister humor.
Thomas is the group wildcard. He excels in finding obscure accounts and going straight for the shock factor. Some of his posts don’t always land but when they do, they’re big.
I expected a better performance out of Sean since he largely brought this group together. He’ll sneak in with some fire memes but we really need to see more from him.
Addison has strong potential based on his quick trigger for being the first person in your contact list to share viral memes. He’s down on the list but don’t count him out.
Jeff deserves to keep his starting position but we’d keep him near the bottom of the batting order. Even so, he’ll impress you with you his brashness and absurdity. Daniel Radcliffe rapping? Classic.
Back in the day Zach was a mean linebacker for our high school football team. Nowadays he’s the king of dad jokes and often reminisces about we would’ve been state champions if coach had put him in in the fourth quarter. Is Zach a “has been” or is he just getting starting with his new career in the meme game? I’m thinking its the latter.
Tied for 8th place: Eric
Covid-19 led to some of best memes of our generation. However these memes became a dime a dozen as Covid dragged on. We’ll have to wait and see if Eric can tread water in the new meme environment.
These guys have never even had the courage to dream about standing on the winner’s podium. They’d rather fake a tummy ache than go up to bat with the game on the line. In fact, over three years and thousands of at bats, they’ve never even gotten on base. Their memes are old, tired, or non-existent.
And now, 60 days later, I’m exhausted. Brittany and I have seen 11 movies (in theater) over the past two months. After learning that movie tickets can now cost up to $20.41 (no joke), we signed up for the AMC “A list,” a subscription service where you can see up to three movies per week for a monthly fee of $21.50. Our mission, which we chose to accept, was to see as many movies as possible to get our monies’ worth out of the subscription service. With the period coming to an end, I wanted to answer three key questions about movie reviewers:
1. What’s the difference between the different rating sources?
User Based Reviews:
IMDb scores are based on a weighted-average rating of all registered users (meaning everyday people). This is supposed to give you a good idea of what normal consumers think of the movie. However not all votes carry the same weight, which was designed to prevent individuals (or groups) from rigging the rating. IMDb says they don’t disclose that calculation “to ensure [their] rating mechanism remains effective.” Like many other user-based review sites, the biggest pitfall is that most people only submit a review when they have very strong positive or negative feelings about a movie, which skews the ratings in favor of either enthusiastic supporters or strong critics.
Audience Score, by Rotten Tomatoes, is similar to IMDb in that it represents the percentage of everyday users who rated a movie or TV show positively. There isn’t much information available on how the final score is tallied or if there are any weightings. Regardless, similar to IMDb, this score is susceptible to review bombing or inflated ratings by franchise cults.
Brittany’s Ratings. Brittany is my most trusted movie companion to see all these movies. Not only do we share similar tastes, but we get to experience these movies together, which whether we admit or not, does matter. For example, the theater was freezing cold during Haunted Mansion which literally created a chilling atmosphere. Or during The Equalizer 3, the projector was out of focus for the first 45 minutes of the film, leaving us both annoyed.
Critic-based Reviews:
The Tomatometer, by Rotten Tomatoes, is a score based on the opinions of hundreds of film and television critics. It gives a quick and reliable idea of whether a movie is worth watching. However, the biggest issue with the Tomatometer is that it breaks down complex opinions into a “Yes” or “No” score, and takes the simple average. So if every critic scored a movie 2.5 of out of 4 stars, the Tomatometer would consider all of those positive reviews and give the film a 100% rating, whereas a simple average would give the movie 62.5/100.
Metacritic collects reviews from a broad range of critics and aggregates them into one “metascore.” The individual scores are averaged but somehow weighted according to a critic’s popularity, stature, and volume of reviews through a secret process. Several people still consider this the most balanced aggregate score.
Using the 11 movies Brittany and I saw over the past 60 days, we can pull out the following takeaways:
A. User-based review sites seem more likely to be impacted by manipulation.
Compared to a professional movie critic, individual user ratings from IMDb and “Audience Score” seem more likely (or easier) to be influenced by hype, controversy, or organized efforts to flood a score with either overly positive or negative reviews to manipulate the score.
For example, the “Audience Score” seems particularly unreliable. It gave “Haunted Mansion” an 8.4/10, a surprisingly high rating compared to Metacritic (4.7), the Tomatometer (3.8), and my own rating (5). The film was notoriously a box office flop, only grossing $24M at the box office during opening weekend. Could Disney have paid or influenced users to leave positive reviews on the “Audience Score” to artificially inflate the movie’s score?
B. Weighted averages tend to lead to lower average scores.
IMDb and Metacritc both openly state that their scores are subject to some sort of behind-the-scenes weighting formula, whereas the Tomatometer is based on a simple average. The “Audience Score” doesn’t say whether it’s weighted or not, so I’ll assume it’s a simple average.
The average rating was 7.28 for IMDb and 6.66 for Metacritic; both lower than the simple averages taken from Tomatometer (7.68) and “Audience Score” (8.45). This could be because the former sites exclude (or dilute) outliers and suspicious reviews like we saw with “Haunted Mansion” in section A. This also may help explain why user-based scores for IMDB and “Audience Score” are so different; because of weighted averages.
C. Critics often rate movies lower than everyday movie goers.
Critics and audience members often have different criteria for evaluating films. For example, critics often consider cinematography, artistic value, and other technical aspects. Audience members, on the other hand, may be more influenced by sampling basis (i.e. only going to movies they’re likely to enjoy and rate highly), herd mentality (i.e. if Brittany likes a movie I’m inclined to agree with her), or the entertainment factor (i.e. the number of explosions).
This discrepancy was most apparent for “Gran Turismo.” Metacritic’s score of 4.8 was significantly lower than the user based reviews from the “Audience Score” (9.8) and IMDb (7.4). Brittany and I also rated the movie high at 9.3 and 9.5 respectively. On the other end of the spectrum, Metacritic rated the artistic film “Asteroid City” at 7.4, higher than IMDb (6.7) and the “Audience Score” (6.2).
3. Which rating service most closely aligns with my own ratings?
My own ratings most closely align with the Tomatometer, however, I don’t think the Tomatometer tells the entire story by itself. I’d look to IMDb first given that A. My personal rating is more likely to align with other audience members (rather than critics) and B. IMDb appears to do a good job of sorting out outliers and manipulation.
To wrap it all up:
Ratings don’t always make sense. They can be good guides, but the magic of the cinema is largely rooted in your own personal taste and connection to the film. My favorite part of the movie-going experience has been the excitement of being in a sold out theater on opening night, always having something to talk about around the office water cooler, and having a weekly date with Brittany.
I held onto my grandparents 2002 Toyota Camry a lot longer than most people would have. It wasn’t just a car to me, it was a symbol of coming home and bringing people together. Whether it was seeing my grandparents pull into the driveway, or being 21 and coming home from college to visit my parents, this car has taken me to, and through, a lot of key life moments. Unfortunately, all good things eventually come to an end, and it’s finally time to say goodbye.
My grandparents Clarke and Peggy originally bought this car new from Dyas Toyota in Auburn, Alabama in 2002 for $18,970. The car went on to live many different lives over its 22 years of reliably serving the Holloway/Kelley family. Its first chapter began with shuffling grandkids around, attending Auburn football games, visiting family, and driving between bridge club (Peggy) and the golf course (Clarke). My sister and I would tag along in the back seat and my grandparents always had to put down the armrest in between us as a physical barrier to keep us from fighting. And there was always, always, chewing gum in the center console, which I later learned was because my grandfather had acid reflux, just like me.
When I got to middle school, the Camry stopped going to the driving range as much and spent a lot more time traipsing between doctor appointments. In March 2008, the car took us to my grandfather’s funeral. Not long after, the car moved east as my grandmother moved into the Salemtowne retirement community in Winston-Salem to be closer to us. Her eyes were getting weaker around the same time I got my learner’s permit, so I’d drive the Camry over to visit and some days we’d go out for a drive with no destination in mind. But most times we’d go to Allen’s Dairy Treats since no one could make a hamburger as good as them.
In November 2009, I passed the drivers education test in the front seat of the Camry. Being a high school kid, I didn’t have a lot of money so my dad taught me how to do basic maintenance like changing the oil. However, I used the little money I had to put in a new radio along with a set of subwoofers in the trunk that I bought off Craigslist. That part didn’t last long as I blew the subwoofers by playing it too loud. Around April of 2011, my dad and I spent all day shining up the Camry in the driveway so it looked just like the day it left the showroom (nine years ago at this point) to take me to the high school prom.
I graduated from high school in 2012 and the Camry followed me to Chapel Hill. Around September 2013, I picked up my future wife Brittany in the Camry for our very first date to go to a play at Playmaker’s Theatre on UNC’s campus. Unfortunately by this point my grandmother had passed on too. Both of my grandparents would have really loved Brittany. Especially my grandmother– I’ve never seen anyone read as many books as the two of them. After college, Brittany left town to attend ECU’s Physician Assistant school. The Camry didn’t have auto-pilot but it could just about drive from Durham to Greenville by itself since I made that trip so many times. In December 2022, the Camry drove Brittany and I to our wedding in Greensboro (note we drove home in a badass Cadillac). And around that same time, the Camry pulled into the driveway of our very first home together.
This is a bittersweet goodbye for sure. Don’t get me wrong I’m excited to get new features like a built in GPS, but I’ll miss my grandparents paper maps in the backseat pocket, and always having chewing gum in the center console.
Are you smarter than the 2012 Mount Tabor academic team? Or Zach’s 9th grade social studies class? Or have you at least read my blog posts? Take the four round quiz here to find out. My mom currently holds the record at 24/40 questions correct.
Round 1: But did you really read my blog though?
Round 2: Homeownership 101
Round 3: Rock and Roll Trivia
Round 4: Are you smarter than a high schooler?
Here’s the leaderboard as of 7/27/23. Let me know your score in the comments and I’ll add you to the list.
Artificial intelligence could soon put my blog out of business. But before throwing in the towel, who’s posts do you like more? To find out, I took some of my old posts and asked ChatGPT to answer the same topics.
1. What was the coolest cell phone in the early 2000’s?
Ryan:
The Samsung Juke. It doubles as an mp3 player, fits in your pocket, and the clock is reasonably accurate. The only con is that I’m not sure if it can actually make a phone call or not.
ChatGPT:
The Nokia 3310. With its physical buttons that required a Herculean effort to press, texting on the Nokia 3310 was like playing a high-stakes game of finger gymnastics. If you mastered the art of texting on this phone, you were considered a modern-day Shakespeare.
The George Foreman Grill, as presented by Evan and voted on by the Revolution
ChatGPT:
The Washing Machine.
It’s a marvel of modern technology, freeing us from the ancient burden of hand-washing clothes. It’s like having a magical vortex that devours your dirty laundry and spits out fresh, clean garments. But beware of the treacherous sock-eating monster that lurks within.
Colin’s Apple Cider, from my sister’s 1st grade class cookbook. Note this recipe has more sugar than water, and one of the ingredients is “one bowl.” Some of the other recipes in the cookbook included bizarre ingredients like 20 bumble bees??, raw eggs and flour (yuck!), and then nonsensical instructions like “cook at 12 for 11.”
ChatGPT:
Apple Explosion Delight:
Take peeled apples and give them a nice roll in glitter. Make sure they sparkle like magical disco balls. It’s all about that glitz and glamour in our recipe.
In a large bowl, combine the toothpaste and ketchup. Stir it up until it becomes a sticky, colorful mess. This is our top-secret sauce that will bring all the flavors together. Or maybe not.
5. Name something useful you learned from your dad
Ryan:
With boats, don’t ask how much it’s going to cost. You don’t want to know. Just do it.
ChatGPT:
Having a secret stash of snacks strategically hidden throughout the house ensures a constant supply of deliciousness. Whether it’s a bag of chips behind the sofa or cookies in the bathroom cabinet, be prepared for any snacking emergency.
6. Can you turn your craziest dream into a movie idea?
Ryan:
Movie Title: The Pirate from the Shadows
Plot: My sister Erin and I find out we have an evil step-brother. Because of a traumatic incident as a child at Disney World, he thinks he’s a pirate, and has been locked away for years in a mental hospital. He escapes and comes after our family for revenge, armed with a pirate ship and crew.
ChatGPT:
Movie Title: Chronicles of the Quantum Dreamers
Plot: In a world where dreams come alive and reality bends to the whims of the subconscious, a quirky group of individuals discover they possess the ability to control their dreams and enter a shared dream realm called the “Quantum Dream.”
Our protagonist, Max, a socially awkward math genius, finds himself trapped in a perpetual dream loop where he’s chased by a horde of rubber duckies armed with laser guns. Desperate to escape this nightmarish cycle, he stumbles upon an underground society of Dreamers, led by the enigmatic Dr. Lucidia.
Dr. Lucidia reveals that the Quantum Dream is under threat from an evil dream villain known as the Nightmare King, whose malevolent presence is infecting dreams with fear and chaos. Max, along with a colorful crew of fellow Dreamers, including a retired circus performer who controls dreams through juggling and a talking cat with a knack for riddles, embarks on a mind-bending quest to stop the Nightmare King and restore balance to the dream realm.
The only thing more broken than Carter’s love life is his wallet. As a broke high school student in 2012, he ordered the market price steak and lobster, and just about cried when the $80 check came. Moral of the story, Carter, if you have to ask… you still can’t afford it!
ChatGPT:
Carter, you’re like our very own Fez from That ’70s Show. I mean, with that wild hair and those big, innocent eyes, it’s like you were plucked straight out of the Jungle Book. And let’s be real here, we’re not entirely convinced you know how to read. Remember that time in Spanish class when the teacher asked about your weekend plans, and all you could muster up was “uhhhhh poptarts?” Yeah, Carter, we’ve got our doubts.
8. How much does it cost to have a girlfriend per month?
Ryan:
Grand Total: $70.50
May 1: Britt bought ice cream for both of us. Running total: -$3.50. May 4: Britt bought me a cocktail at Calavera. Running total: -$13.50. May 8: I bought ice cream. Running total: -$10. May $19: I bought a round of drinks at Top O. Running total: -$4. May 20: Erin (my sister) gave me tickets to a Brad Paisely concert. Cost: free! We went to dinner beforehand at the Loop. Running total: $5.50. May 23: Dinner at Imbibe, I had a gift card so it was basically free. Don’t go here for food though… 1 star. May 31: So this one’s on me. I really wanted to go to a Green Day concert and I think the only way I could convince anyone to go with me was if I buy a ticket for Britt. Running total: $70.50.
ChatGPT:
Grad Total: $220
Gift expenses: $50 – Because nothing says “I love you” like a bouquet of half-price gas station flowers and a last-minute, on-sale box of chocolates. Romance on a budget, folks!
Date nights: $100 – We’re talking about those fancy candlelit dinners at the finest fast-food establishments, complete with the extra-value meal and a shared soda. Classy, yet cost-effective.
Movie outings: $40 – Catching the latest blockbuster movies on discount Tuesdays, armed with a smuggled-in bag of stale popcorn and a pocketful of expired coupons.
Miscellaneous surprises: $30 – This includes those spontaneous moments of chivalry, like buying her a dollar store trinket or surprise serenading her with a kazoo rendition of her favorite song.
Emotional support: Priceless – Because being there for each other during good times, bad times, and the “I can’t decide what to wear” times is invaluable. Cue the sentimental music.
Brittany and I (along with lots of help from our dads) are trying to learn some DIY skills. Here’s a look back at the past few months…
Replaced a rotten deck post (scroll through)
Replaced a leaking garbage disposal (which had started pouring water five minute before we were about to leave for our wedding)
Brittany spackled and painted over lots of dog scratches
Straightened the fence (scroll through)
Patched over some holes in the wall
Made some minor color adjustments
Installed a ceiling fan
And lots more– changed locks, replaced dishwasher hoses, installed a flood light, sealed the driveway, refinished furniture (in process), and changed/installed smoke detectors, among others.
The big "R" in Ryan 