Photos

12 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Suck at Fantasy Football

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Carter had a bad fantasy football year and we punished him accordingly. The biggest loser in the league (Carter) had to create an embarrassing 12 month calendar of himself, with each league member picking the theme for one month. So really, we didn’t just punish him once… We punished him for 12 whole months.

“Nip-slip New Year” Directed by Evan

1 January 001

Evan scored more points than every team in the West division but struggled in the East. To celebrate not coming in last place, Evan dressed Carter up in a makeshift baby outfit to bring in the New Year.

“President’s Day” Directed by Zach

2 February 001

Zach got screwed— he missed the trophy by just two points. With a tear in his eye, Zach dressed up Carter in a nostalgic Barack Obama matching t-shirt and hat.

“Matt suspiciously flees the state” March

3 March 001

Matt won the 2017 league after finishing the 2016 season dead last with a paltry 925 cumulative points. To escape any suspicion, he immediately fled to the north, never to be seen again. (Picture selected by Carter)

“April Showers bring May Flowers” Directed by Andrew

4 april 001

Carter is wearing a full rain suit but Andrew couldn’t make it rain points in the league. Andrew barely squeaked by Carter in the last game to avoid the ultimate punishment.

“Cinco de Mayo/ Mother’s Day” Directed by Becca

5 mauy 001

We had nine players in the league but there’s twelve months in a year… so we called in our female friends to help fill in the gap. Here, Carter combines two holidays into one confusing picture.

“Beach Season” Directed by Ashley

6 june 001

Carter actually fills out this two piece swimsuit pretty well. Then again, he’s wearing a women’s swim suit at midnight 250 miles away from the nearest beach. Well played, Ash.

“Carter’s Birthday” Directed by Carter Fields

7 july 001

The dude likes cats and isn’t shy about it. Carter’s fantasy football fate was sealed from the very beginning after starting the season on a six game losing streak.

“Sorority Rush” Directed by Liz

8 august 001

“Throw what you know.” Liz didn’t play fantasy football but I bet even she could beat Carter’s team.

“Wake Me Up When September Ends” Directed by Nathan

9 september 001

Despite finishing fourth, Nathan had the highest cumulative points. This lethargic photo also reflects Carter’s lackadaisical attitude towards fantasy football.

“World Series” Directed by George (Carter)

10 october 001

After several pictures being deemed “inappropriate,” George finally gave up. Note George’s team name is also a jab at Carter; “Carter can’t (Jordan) Reed.”

“Boy Scout Popcorn Month” Directed by Ryan

11 november 001

Carter is wearing a youth-medium boy-scout uniform (waist size 22). Team Kelley also had a rough season though, finishing 5-6.

“The Nutcracker” Directed by Sean

12 december 001

Someone got their balls busted alright. Sean took down Carter 90-83 in Week 7 on the way to a 7-4 finish.

Best SnapChats I’ve Ever Received

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Most Snapchats last 10 seconds but these will go down in history forever.

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This is my clear favorite. If you’re not as alarmed as Mike you need to get with the program.

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See what they did here?

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To be fair, Wendy’s doesn’t have their own naturally enhanced flavored water.

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Part 1

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Part 2. Yes this actually happened. Someone broke into Brittany’s car one night, took her GPS, most likely smoked a cigarette and left a surprise on top of the car. Cash reward for any leads.

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We’ve all been there, he’s just the bravest to admit it.

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I think Zach is actually on to something here.

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A health expert recommended a rough guideline of about one ounce of full-fat cheese per day. Just FYI.

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Somehow this was for a Spanish project. Nailed it.

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Sadly, one of the most accurate pics on here.

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Harrison’s natural hair color?

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All natural.

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Women can be founding fathers too!

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Stylish? No. Practical? Yes.

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Yes I keep a spare TV remote in my car. See my blog post on “Ryan’s Emergency Car Kit”.

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That poor face says it all.

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Her middle name is Alexandria Brianna (spell check?)

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To clarify, Brooke convinced everyone to go out and then immediately fell asleep at the Barcade.

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Dude forgot his mouthpiece and is rolling with it. Britt and I had court-side seats for the pic.

BONUS POLL

A Comprehensive Ranking of Every Ryan Kell(e)y (That We Know)

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Will the real BigRin please stand up? A guest column by George Oliver

Ryan Kelley/Ryan Kelly.  It’s a surprisingly generic name, and it’s tough to keep all of them straight.  For those of you that have struggled to understand where our beloved blogger fits in the world of Ryan Kellys/Kelleys, no need to fear!  My good friend has compiled an unbiased ranking of all these people (that we know), factoring qualities such as athleticism, intelligence, musical ability, proper spelling of “Ryan Kelley”, and blog quality.

Unranked – R Kelly

r kelley 2

 You may have expected R Kelly’s great musical ability to give him a fighting shot in these rankings, but you thought wrong because his first name is Robert.  He’s not even remotely qualified for this competition.

T-6th – Ryan Kelley and Ryan Kelley

  r kelley 6th place   r kelley 6th place 2

We actually don’t know too much about these Ryan Kelleys (we just discovered them in a Facebook search five seconds ago), but they both went to a couple dumb ag schools (NC State and Cornell), so they really can’t be much.

5th – Ryan Kelly

 r kelley 5th place

A basketball player for Duke and the Los Angeles Lakers, Ryan Kelly has some reasonable athletic prowess.  But one look at his face and it’s clear he has zero musical prowess.  His Duke degree may seem impressive, but it’s actually pretty lackluster as far as Ryan Kelleys go.  Blog post is nonexistent and name is misspelled.  Actually, he’s just an embarrassment of a Ryan Kelley.

4th – Ryan Kelly

 r kelley 4th place

A three-time national champion and unanimous All American at Alabama, Ryan Kelly is currently tearing it up in the NFL because he is a physical beast.   Unfortunately, his education is not up to par, and his name is still spelled wrong, so he fails to reach the podium.

3rd – Ryan Kelly

r kelley 3rd place

A graduate of Brown, where he won the Ivy League Championships in the 200M at track, Ryan Kelly clearly has both intelligence and athleticism.  However, his musical prowess and blog’s existence is TBD.  Plus, his name is still wrong.  Clearly his Brown degree didn’t teach him how to spell.

 2nd – Ryan Kelley

r kelley 2nd place

Ryan Kelley had a respectable track career at the US Naval Academy, with a 5K time as fast as 14 minutes 24 seconds.  We can assume his brains and athleticism are the reason why our military has been destroying ISIS left and right in recent months.  Sadly, he seems to keep a low-profile due to his tenure in the military, so there is no blog to judge him by.  He would’ve been a clear winner otherwise because let’s be real; this Ryan slays.

1st – TheBigRinRyan

r kelley 1st place

This Ryan Kelley is the real deal.  He’s squared up with Chris Paul in basketball (above) in addition to killing the JV Cross Country scene in High School.  He can play just about any Guitar Hero song on medium.  His name is spelled correctly.  Plus, he has a quality education from the prestigious University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and writes a world-class blog with no less than 26 views on any given post.  With all due respect to Ryan Kelley, this Ryan Kelley is the clear-cut greatest Ryan Kelley.

Editor’s note: George Oliver did not receive any compensation for this article.