Every party needs two things; a good theme, and good food.
Over Thanksgiving, my friends combined both elements into one event dubbed the “The Revolution Taste Test Challenge.” Each person brought three different varieties, brands, or flavors of a certain food or drink, and we spent the party taste testing each food and trying to determine which one was which. Here are the winners, along with few takeaways that may help you out on your next shopping trip.
Winners:
1st Place: Jacob
Jacob led the pack with 20 correct picks. And he gets major props for winning the tiebreaker (which we later found out wasn’t necessary due to an incorrect tally). We gave both Jacob and Andrew two cups and had them guess which one was Smirnoff Ice and which one was Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Only Jacob was wise enough to know that both were Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
2nd Place: Andrew.
Andrew came in second with 19 correct picks, but the crazy thing is that he left three categories (representing 10 potential points) completely blank because he was too busy entertaining others. Of the 25 guesses that he actually made, he got 76% of them right, which is insane compared to the group average of 42% (and Jacob’s first place score of 57%). Note Jacob and Andrew both got five categories perfect.
3rd Place: George
George got 16 of 32 picks right (50%), and got four perfect categories.
Hot Takes and Lessons Learned:
100% of people know that Poppi is different from Coke and Pepsi, but only 9 out of 13 people (69%) could differentiate between Coke and Pepsi.
Only 3 out of 11 people recognized Halo Top (the healthy ice cream) compared to its full sugar counterparts. So you might as well get the healthier Halo Top ice cream.
100% of people confused Barbecue Wings with Honey Barbecue wings. I’m thinking George and Maggie mixed up the labels…
Six of 12 participants (50%) thought the instant mashed potatoes were homemade. My recommendation– don’t waste your time making homemade mashed potatoes.
Seven out of 10 people (70%) can correctly identify a bottom shelf glass of wine. However, the difference between a mid and upper-mid shelf bottle of wine is harder to distinguish. So next time you’re at the store, go with your gut and buy the second cheapest bottle of wine.
11 out of 12 people correctly identified homemade guacamole. It’s just different, and in my opinion, probably worth the extra time.
Zach’s mom makes a really awesome Moravian Sugar Cake.
For cookies and mac and cheese, buying the store brand is probably just fine. Only 3 out of 11 people (27%) could correctly identify Harris Teeter cookie dough, and only 3 out of 13 people (23%) could correctly identify store brand Mac and Cheese. Those odds are even worse than a true guess (33%).
That being said, it may be worth buying brand name mozzarella sticks. Five out of 13 participants (38%) correctly identified the store brand mozzarella sticks, which is just better than guessing. This doesn’t mean that the store brand mozzarella sticks necessarily are worse (or better) than the brand names, but the data suggests they may be just slightly different enough to notice.
Are you a water snob? Most people can’t tell the difference. Only our top two testers (Andrew and Jacob) got all three water picks correct. And while Dasani gets a lot of hate, only 4 out of 13 participants could pick it out of a crowd of premium brands. For the most part, water is water.
75% of participants could correctly identify Gouda, but 42% confused Cheddar with Monterrey Jack. It’s important to know how to lay out a cheese board, but it’s also okay to use a little creativity/flexibility.
The best way to enjoy a Smirnoff Ice is by making your friends drink it (ideally when they least expect it). After much deliberation, I’m excited to announce the Top 10 Ices Of all Time.
1. George takes a shower
By this point in time, George should have known there was an Ice waiting for him in the bathroom at his bachelor party. I just skewed the odds by putting an Ice in all of the towels… just in case.
2. Sean tries “working from home” at Zach’s bachelor party
This man deserves a raise for trying to get work done while everyone else was playing beer pong. But little did he know there was a full bottle of Smirnoff Ice sitting inside his water bottle, with the straw perched inside the bottle.
3. George’s formal dinnerware
George is probably my favorite person to Ice because he’s a good sport about it. The scenario below played out at Evan’s wedding– Carter and I slipped into the venue before the wedding started and tucked an Ice into George’s napkin when he sat down.
4. The “Ice” cold birthday cake
With how many Ices I give out, I’m well aware that there’s a huge target on my back. I just didn’t see this one coming. I thought it was a little odd when Carol and Kayla insisted that I cut my own birthday cake, and for good reason… there was an Ice baked right into the cake.
5. Ryan claims his spot as “The Winner of The Losers”
In our fantasy football league, you have to Ice yourself if you score the least amount of points in any given week. Here’s a recap of last year’s Ices– check out the full blog post here.
6. Carter goes 4 for 4 in the Revolution Blind Taste Test
There are somewhere between 18 and 24 unique flavor of Smirnoff Ice. Our group has probably kept Smirnoff in business over the past 10 years, yet somehow only Carter could correctly identify all of the flavors in this variety pack.
7. The Gift of Giving
If you receive a Christmas present from someone in the Revolution, be wary— chances are it’s an Ice waiting to happen.
8. The Easter Beer Hunt
I think Carter actually likes Smirnoff Ice– In fact he’ll often go out of his way to find them. For Easter, George hides beers in his yard instead of Easter Eggs (spoiler alert: there are always Ices mixed in). Several people but pretend not to see the Ices… but not Carter.
9. The wedding party assembles
Most people give their friends a gift when asking them to be in their wedding party… These guys all got Ices.
10. Revenge served “Ice” cold
Ugh someone (I think it was Bobby?) got me at my own wedding. I had brought a 12 pack so I could strategically plant some Ices throughout the day but it mysteriously disappeared at some point during the day. Several hours later I go up to the bar to find out everyone else (including the bartender) was in on it.
Honorable Mention: The Long Game
Sometimes the best Ices require delayed gratification. Carol dodged Ices all night but ended up finding a sugary beverage to go with breakfast.
Bonus Content: Andrew shotguns a Fresca
We must’ve run out of Ices this day but Andrew is a legend for taking down a Fresca this quickly.
My core friend group is a tight circle that hasn’t changed in over 10 years… until recently. One of the core members got a new boyfriend (thanks online dating) and we’ve decided to fully welcome him into the group. The only problem is this new member hasn’t gotten to spend a lot of time with Bobby yet, who’s apparently too busy being a new parent to hang out with us every weekend now. Whatever. Bobby’s a simple enough guy that I can tell you everything you need to know about Bobby in just a few pictures.
1. Bobby is always hungry. His goal is to put 2,000 calories in every smoothie. And his idea of a side for a bagel is a croissant.
2. He never misses a good photobombing opportunity (especially when he’s in costume)
3. I’m pretty sure he could have been a model.
4. Although he’s also kind of weird.
5. And makes this one face he makes when he’s disappointed (although thankfully we don’t see this one very often).
6. But overall he’s a great friend and gives great hugs.
Our local produce stand has a deal where you can fill a bag with as much fruits and vegetables as you want, plus a free item of their pick, for a fixed cost of $25. As a numbers person, I wanted to know– is this a better deal than going to Harris Teeter?
This week, the answer was yes. I only spent $25 at Perkins whereas those same items at Harris Teeter would have cost $26.24, plus I felt good knowing the produce was fresh and locally sourced. If you only need a few things though, it probably makes sense to pay by the item.
Another pro of Perkins– they sell a lot of pumpkins! In typical fashion, they’ll sell you as many pumpkins as you can fit in a wagon, plus a bag of produce, for the reasonable cost of $100.
Logan didn’t like to talk about the “c” word, even though it loomed over him every day for six and a half years. It’s something that happened, but it’s not who he was. Logan was smart, funny, determined, and one of my very best friends, and that’s how I’ll always remember him.
I met Logan around 2014 when he joined KA at UNC. In the fraternity world, Logan was my “little brother’s little brother,” which meant that Bobby and I were both supposed to be mentors for him. But Logan was always determined to find his own path and ended up being more of a role model for both of us. Against all logic, he decided to pursue physics, probably the hardest major at UNC, driven by his innate desire to understand how things work, particularly everything related to space. This scientific mindset later led him to earn a master’s degree in analytics.
Logan was often quiet, but when he talked, people listened. Even though he could be serious a lot of the time, he was also funny in his own sarcastic but loving way. One time, I accidentally put milk in the pantry instead of the fridge. Logan was over at my house the next day and opened up the cupboard. He saw the milk and, with a sly smile, said, “Oh cool, you have your own milk shelf,” then closed the cabinet and went about whatever he was doing.
Logan’s passions were simple yet profound: he loved craft beer, Marvel movies, videogames, spending time with friends, and Tar Heel athletics. He proudly wore UNC’s colors through his master’s program at NC State and later through the halls of Duke Hospital. He always knew all the latest stats and transfer portal rumors. For ten years, Logan was my right-hand man at nearly every UNC home football game, the kind of fan who never left early to beat traffic. When he could no longer attend because of health reasons, he made sure the tickets found their way into a friend’s hands to carry on the tradition.
Logan was loved and supported by so many friends, family members, fraternity brothers, classmates, and colleagues. To illustrate what type of friend Logan was, I remember a story he told about going to the beach with his aunt and uncle on a hot day. They knew he loved craft beer but didn’t know much about it themselves, so they got him a six-pack of Duck Rabbit Milk Stout, which would be about as refreshing as a large glass of thick chocolate milk. Logan politely thanked them and pretended to enjoy one to avoid hurting their feelings. I think he told them later on, and they all laughed about it. Another time Logan had brought a first date to a football game, and in an unlucky turn of events, Bojangles sold me chicken tenders that were raw in the middle. I was either too shy or disgusted to do anything about it at the time but Logan and his date graciously offered to “handle it” for me. They returned the tenders to the store and warned everyone in line about what had happened. Bojangles felt so bad about it that they gave Logan and his date triple their money back in cash. They ended the day with a grateful crowd of people saved from food poisoning and a first-date story that left us all laughing.
We were playing on an adult kickball team around the time Logan was diagnosed with cancer. I remember taking him to one of his first doctor’s appointments because of what he thought was just back pain at the time. There were a lot of ups and downs over the next six and a half years, including a brief celebration in 2019 when the cancer went into remission. But no matter how hard things got, Logan’s personality always shined brighter than the pain he was going through. He was always there for us, and we were there for him when he needed us. Our close-knit group of friends visited him in every hospital room, offered rides, brought food, and even lodged a formal complaint when the handicap bathroom wasn’t actually handicap friendly. The most meaningful event was when Councill rented out a movie theater, and twenty of our friends came from near and far to join Logan in rewatching his favorite movie, “Interstellar,” on the big screen.
Logan was a great person and an amazing friend, and it hurts to think about how much I’ll miss his quick wit, late-night space talks, sports commentary, and everything in between. But I know he’d want us to hold onto the good memories until we meet again. To his friends and family, Logan didn’t say goodbye—he said, “I love you, and I’ll see you next time.”
It gets better every day. Over the past year, we’ve settled into our new home, went on an amazing honeymoon in Mexico, and cherished the ups and downs of every day life. And part of that happiness is due to the great advice we received from friends and family along the way, including:
My sister, who evidently watches a lot of TV
“I’ve learned a lot about marriage from watching Family Feud.
Support your team – even if the answer is not the best, respond with “good answer, good answer” Same goes in marriage, support one another’s dreams and goals and be each other’s biggest cheerleader
When asked after a lighting round, always say “we wanna play, Steve!” – I hope in your marriage you’ll always be willing to play, take a risk and go all in. And finally,
Win or lose, celebrate and act like you just won the prize – This one is pretty self explanatory, but have fun and hold each other tight during the good and hard times that life may bring you.”
Erin
Carol, who knows exactly how to lighten the mood
“I know I’m supposed to offer up relationship advice, but I’m single with a cat, so what do I know?! So here’s a Mad Lib from the wedding party instead:
What’s some advice that’s worth its weight in STEEL? First, let’s be real. FLOOFY disagreements are inevitable and can be as petty as fighting over whether to order curried CHEESECAKE or CHOCOLATE MOLTEN CAKE. Just remember that a(n) SPICY wife is a(n) HAIRY life. And when you act like a KERFLUFFLE, just apologize! Get in the habit of saying BYE BUDDY, HOPE YOU FIND YOUR DAD! And never go to bed BOTHERED.
Remember to fan the DOGS of romance. Draw up a luxurious SMIRNOFF ICE bath and light some UN-SCOOPED KITTY LITTER scented candles for your beloved. But in all seriousness, the most important advice I can offer is to choose to love each other every day, even the hard ones, and always have fun.”
Caroline
Becca, who must’ve had a bad experience in the past…
“Get the absolute best Christmas tree stand you can. It’ll save your marriage.”
Becca
Garrett, my big brother from another mother
“Savor all the time you can and make mental images. But also make space for yourselves and remember it’s okay to be a little selfish with your time and preferences.
Garrett
Carter, quoting Nickelback
“I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame. I’d even cut my hair and change my name… Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar”
Carter
Brittany’s uncles, who have collectively been married for a very long time
“See if you’re still smiling in 25 years. LOL.”
Danny, Wayne, and Nick
Bobby, who forgot I’m a practicing martial artist
“Conflict is good sometimes.”
Bobby
Casey, who can rock the piano and your heart
“Love is like a pool. Take the plunge and meet in the middle where you’re both the most vulnerable.”
Casey
Brittany’s dad, the most photogenic person in the room
I’m in an exclusive small group that trades marginally politically incorrect memes that you probably wouldn’t want your grandmother to see. The group, aptly named “send memes,” has some of my best friends, some of my friends’ friends, and even a few celebrities like Dwayne the Rock Johnson (who was added against his will and never actually opened the chat). By now you probably already know I like to rank things, so let’s dive in. Who’s the best at finding and sharing memes?
The results were measured by looking at every meme posted in the group over the past three years and keeping track of which posts got the most “likes,” and who sent them. There’s probably over 5,000 memes in the chat but the “best of the best” memes all have at least six “likes” from the group, and usually involve satire, poking fun at PC culture, an irreverent twist on current events, or strangely, The Lord of the Rings. So here are the winners and losers, ranked by the number of memes submitted with 6+ “likes.” I’ve also included a sampling of each person’s top memes.
Ryan, Jimmy, and Wes were neck and neck heading into the fourth quarter but Ryan ultimately pulled away with the most consistent (meme) running game
1st Place: Ryan
With eight memes on the leaderboard, Ryan was the clear choice for the winner by volume. His posts generate widespread acclaim for mocking the absurdities of modern life; specializing in pop culture and office humor. Ryan is your bread and butter RB1.
A close second, Jimmy puts up powerful memes that bring back some serious childhood memories like binge watching Lord of the Rings, playing Pokemon Yellow until 4am, and fighting with your friends over the Halo controller. This friendly rivalry could turn into an all out fist fight come playoff season.
Wes is a serious contender, having shared the most popular meme ever in the group shown below. I don’t totally understand it but I guess everyone else does. Regardless, Wes’ has an undisputed monopoly on timely and spicy memes on current events.
Luke is a dark horse candidate that could blast into the top 3 on a moment’s notice. He can take any scenario and spin it in a completely different direction with his sinister humor.
Thomas is the group wildcard. He excels in finding obscure accounts and going straight for the shock factor. Some of his posts don’t always land but when they do, they’re big.
I expected a better performance out of Sean since he largely brought this group together. He’ll sneak in with some fire memes but we really need to see more from him.
Addison has strong potential based on his quick trigger for being the first person in your contact list to share viral memes. He’s down on the list but don’t count him out.
Jeff deserves to keep his starting position but we’d keep him near the bottom of the batting order. Even so, he’ll impress you with you his brashness and absurdity. Daniel Radcliffe rapping? Classic.
Back in the day Zach was a mean linebacker for our high school football team. Nowadays he’s the king of dad jokes and often reminisces about we would’ve been state champions if coach had put him in in the fourth quarter. Is Zach a “has been” or is he just getting starting with his new career in the meme game? I’m thinking its the latter.
Tied for 8th place: Eric
Covid-19 led to some of best memes of our generation. However these memes became a dime a dozen as Covid dragged on. We’ll have to wait and see if Eric can tread water in the new meme environment.
These guys have never even had the courage to dream about standing on the winner’s podium. They’d rather fake a tummy ache than go up to bat with the game on the line. In fact, over three years and thousands of at bats, they’ve never even gotten on base. Their memes are old, tired, or non-existent.
Artificial intelligence could soon put my blog out of business. But before throwing in the towel, who’s posts do you like more? To find out, I took some of my old posts and asked ChatGPT to answer the same topics.
1. What was the coolest cell phone in the early 2000’s?
Ryan:
The Samsung Juke. It doubles as an mp3 player, fits in your pocket, and the clock is reasonably accurate. The only con is that I’m not sure if it can actually make a phone call or not.
ChatGPT:
The Nokia 3310. With its physical buttons that required a Herculean effort to press, texting on the Nokia 3310 was like playing a high-stakes game of finger gymnastics. If you mastered the art of texting on this phone, you were considered a modern-day Shakespeare.
The George Foreman Grill, as presented by Evan and voted on by the Revolution
ChatGPT:
The Washing Machine.
It’s a marvel of modern technology, freeing us from the ancient burden of hand-washing clothes. It’s like having a magical vortex that devours your dirty laundry and spits out fresh, clean garments. But beware of the treacherous sock-eating monster that lurks within.
Colin’s Apple Cider, from my sister’s 1st grade class cookbook. Note this recipe has more sugar than water, and one of the ingredients is “one bowl.” Some of the other recipes in the cookbook included bizarre ingredients like 20 bumble bees??, raw eggs and flour (yuck!), and then nonsensical instructions like “cook at 12 for 11.”
ChatGPT:
Apple Explosion Delight:
Take peeled apples and give them a nice roll in glitter. Make sure they sparkle like magical disco balls. It’s all about that glitz and glamour in our recipe.
In a large bowl, combine the toothpaste and ketchup. Stir it up until it becomes a sticky, colorful mess. This is our top-secret sauce that will bring all the flavors together. Or maybe not.
5. Name something useful you learned from your dad
Ryan:
With boats, don’t ask how much it’s going to cost. You don’t want to know. Just do it.
ChatGPT:
Having a secret stash of snacks strategically hidden throughout the house ensures a constant supply of deliciousness. Whether it’s a bag of chips behind the sofa or cookies in the bathroom cabinet, be prepared for any snacking emergency.
6. Can you turn your craziest dream into a movie idea?
Ryan:
Movie Title: The Pirate from the Shadows
Plot: My sister Erin and I find out we have an evil step-brother. Because of a traumatic incident as a child at Disney World, he thinks he’s a pirate, and has been locked away for years in a mental hospital. He escapes and comes after our family for revenge, armed with a pirate ship and crew.
ChatGPT:
Movie Title: Chronicles of the Quantum Dreamers
Plot: In a world where dreams come alive and reality bends to the whims of the subconscious, a quirky group of individuals discover they possess the ability to control their dreams and enter a shared dream realm called the “Quantum Dream.”
Our protagonist, Max, a socially awkward math genius, finds himself trapped in a perpetual dream loop where he’s chased by a horde of rubber duckies armed with laser guns. Desperate to escape this nightmarish cycle, he stumbles upon an underground society of Dreamers, led by the enigmatic Dr. Lucidia.
Dr. Lucidia reveals that the Quantum Dream is under threat from an evil dream villain known as the Nightmare King, whose malevolent presence is infecting dreams with fear and chaos. Max, along with a colorful crew of fellow Dreamers, including a retired circus performer who controls dreams through juggling and a talking cat with a knack for riddles, embarks on a mind-bending quest to stop the Nightmare King and restore balance to the dream realm.
The only thing more broken than Carter’s love life is his wallet. As a broke high school student in 2012, he ordered the market price steak and lobster, and just about cried when the $80 check came. Moral of the story, Carter, if you have to ask… you still can’t afford it!
ChatGPT:
Carter, you’re like our very own Fez from That ’70s Show. I mean, with that wild hair and those big, innocent eyes, it’s like you were plucked straight out of the Jungle Book. And let’s be real here, we’re not entirely convinced you know how to read. Remember that time in Spanish class when the teacher asked about your weekend plans, and all you could muster up was “uhhhhh poptarts?” Yeah, Carter, we’ve got our doubts.
8. How much does it cost to have a girlfriend per month?
Ryan:
Grand Total: $70.50
May 1: Britt bought ice cream for both of us. Running total: -$3.50. May 4: Britt bought me a cocktail at Calavera. Running total: -$13.50. May 8: I bought ice cream. Running total: -$10. May $19: I bought a round of drinks at Top O. Running total: -$4. May 20: Erin (my sister) gave me tickets to a Brad Paisely concert. Cost: free! We went to dinner beforehand at the Loop. Running total: $5.50. May 23: Dinner at Imbibe, I had a gift card so it was basically free. Don’t go here for food though… 1 star. May 31: So this one’s on me. I really wanted to go to a Green Day concert and I think the only way I could convince anyone to go with me was if I buy a ticket for Britt. Running total: $70.50.
ChatGPT:
Grad Total: $220
Gift expenses: $50 – Because nothing says “I love you” like a bouquet of half-price gas station flowers and a last-minute, on-sale box of chocolates. Romance on a budget, folks!
Date nights: $100 – We’re talking about those fancy candlelit dinners at the finest fast-food establishments, complete with the extra-value meal and a shared soda. Classy, yet cost-effective.
Movie outings: $40 – Catching the latest blockbuster movies on discount Tuesdays, armed with a smuggled-in bag of stale popcorn and a pocketful of expired coupons.
Miscellaneous surprises: $30 – This includes those spontaneous moments of chivalry, like buying her a dollar store trinket or surprise serenading her with a kazoo rendition of her favorite song.
Emotional support: Priceless – Because being there for each other during good times, bad times, and the “I can’t decide what to wear” times is invaluable. Cue the sentimental music.
Brittany and I (along with lots of help from our dads) are trying to learn some DIY skills. Here’s a look back at the past few months…
Replaced a rotten deck post (scroll through)
Replaced a leaking garbage disposal (which had started pouring water five minute before we were about to leave for our wedding)
Brittany spackled and painted over lots of dog scratches
Straightened the fence (scroll through)
Patched over some holes in the wall
Made some minor color adjustments
Installed a ceiling fan
And lots more– changed locks, replaced dishwasher hoses, installed a flood light, sealed the driveway, refinished furniture (in process), and changed/installed smoke detectors, among others.
The big "R" in Ryan 