Author: rkelleyc

The Best of StumbleUpon in One Page

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Or how I reached Level 24 of the Internet. I never meant to reach 24,000 page views on Stumble Upon, but here we are. Here’s the best of the best of the best.

This post is going down in three parts: Part 1: “Stumble Upon”, A photo Essay by Ryan Kelley. Part 2: Links that you better click on or I’ll be mad at you. And Part 3: Funny Youtube Videos that I promise you haven’t seen before.

If you only click on one thing from this post, make it SeeHearParty.com. Where else can you find a video of George W Bush breakdancing to techno music with puppies in the background? And it’s customizable! (Note: You must be on a computer and Google Chrome Browser for this to work).

Find out why Craigslist is really dangerous in E-mails from an Asshole. This guy Mike goes on Craigslist and haunts people with hilarious insults, overkills, and misreads.

Have you ever had the feeling that all a professional DJ does is press play and then dance around a bit? Well now you can too! iWebDJ.com allows you to mix two songs together and play around with loops, sound effects, and filters until you believe you can too.

Brittany swears some of these videos aren’t real, but I promise they are. Check out,  Anything is Possible, highlights include BMX backflips on a tricycle, throwing a girl through a basketball net, and (my favorite) jumping hands free into a car window.

The 21st Century is a great time to be alive.

See why Remi Gaillard probably got arrested for doing sports wrong.

The answer to the age old question…. “is mayonnaise an instrument?”

Find out how one black man defeated the entire KKK and left them looking foolish.

COMING SOON: “Stumble Upon Part II,” A guest column by Becca Martin

How to Food: The One Where Ryan Learns How to Cook and Can Teach You Too

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Up until this summer, I was pretty spoiled when it came to other people making food for me.

Now I’ve got a rotating list of at least four meals I can make that are healthy-ish, use less than four ingredients, and take less than 20 minutes start to finish. I think I’m going to call it:

Less than Four and Under 20:

Let’s start with my favorite: How to Quesadillas

As promised, it only has four ingredients: tortillas, cheese, chicken, and whatever else you have in the freezer.

photo 3

Step 1: Cheese and tortilla

Step 2: Chicken

Step 3: The whatever else part. I took a bag of frozen rice and vegetables, put it in the microwave for 5 minutes, and then you’re ready to go.

Step 4: Medium heat, flip it once.

The steps are simple, but you’ll have a fancy finished product; Southwest Vegetable Blended  Quesadilla with Herb-Roasted Chicken 

If you’re not convinced yet, here’s some nutritional facts I made up:

Protein: 20g

Calories: 400

Vegetables? Yes.

Gluten free? Sure.

How to Pizzas: A Close #2

Sweet Baby Ray’s Barbecue Chicken Pizza with Mozzamelt on Fair Trade Pita

photo 1

 Step 1: Pita bread— I’m really not seeing the difference between pita bread and pizza crust so let’s stick with pita bread (I can’t confirm the fair trade part).

Step 2: Pizza sauce, mozzarella cheese, and chicken

Step 3: Throw it in the oven for 15 minutes at 350 degrees

How to other foods: 

By having an awesome sister, and a very understanding girlfriend who can make things like this:

French Toast by Erin

Coming soon: I’m going to make my own Crunchwrap Supreme

Wise Words of Wisdom from my dad

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My dad’s a pretty cool guy. So cool that I’ve never seen him wear a t-shirt. When it’s cold outside, he even doubles up and wears two collared shirts. Here are just a few of the funny things he says.

“Yeah I had the chance to study abroad too. It was called the army.”

“My name is Mr. Kelley but you can call me by my first name…… Sir.”

Steve on Jos A Banks: “Buy one get four free? I’m not going till its buy one get five free!”

Mom: “Aw Steve, what a nice card”  Dad: “Yeah I told Hallmark what to write.”

Me: “It’s like 50 degrees in here, can you turn the heat on?” Dad: “What do you want, a jacket for Christmas?”

Client: “Who should I make this check out to?” Dad: “Just make it out to Obama, he’s getting all of it anyway.”

Dad: “Oh wow, Laura, you got your hair done! It looks great!” Mom: “No, that’s tomorrow.” Dad: “Oh.”

How to get free movie rentals: A short guide by Steve Kelley

Three free Redbox Movies (No purchase necessary). One time my dad rented a movie at Redbox, but the disc was scratched and wouldn’t play… So he did what any other Baby Boomer what do. He wrote a note explaining the problem and requesting a refund, taped it to the DVD, and put it back in the machine. About a month later, he received an apology from Redbox in the mail along with a refund AND three free movies.

Two for the Price of One (Good at any movie store). Another time my dad was really excited to watch a Blu-Ray movie he just rented. However, at the time, we still had an old-school tube TV, so it obviously wouldn’t play. He took the movie back to Family Video, where they patiently explained the difference between Blu-Ray and DVD, and threw in two free movie rentals.

Overheard in Spain

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  • Looking at a field of cows: “Wow, look at all of those goats!”
  • “Oh, you mean six o’clock in the afternoon?”
  • Host mom to host son: “If you get the tattoo, I’m not going to give you money to go out with your friends this weekend.” (He’s 30)
  • Me trying to explain where I’m from:
    – “I’m from Winston-Salem in North Carolina… It’s kind of near Raleigh or Charlotte? …Like the south east part of the United States? …On the Atlantic Ocean side? …I guess it’s sort of close to Washington D.C…”
    – “Ooh I know where that is!”
  • -“Yeah it wasn’t too expensive. It was 70 euro round trip.”
    -“Oh 35 each way isn’t bad!”
    -“No it was 70 round trip.”
  • Teacher: “For your presentation, choose a small, local company.”
    Girl: “How about Nike?”
    Me: “I think he means a small, one-office company with less than 50 employees.”
    Girl: “What about Ryan Air?”
  • “There’s only two rules on the bus, you can drink… Actually, I guess that’s the only rule.”
  • Teacher: I’m so sorry I forgot to come to class earlier this week. And especially to Matt because I waved at him as he was on the way to the class, and I still forgot.
  • “Please be on time… Please only be ten minutes late”
  • Teacher looking at an empty class: “Where is everyone? Was there a party last night?”