Here’s how I imagine my next job interview going…. “Ryan, Do you know how to use Photo Shop?” “No.” “Can you prove it?” “Yes.”
funny
Uncovering Ryan’s Google Search History: An Exposé
Here’s a list of questions I’m too embarrassed to ask in public but just dumb enough I’ll post on the internet. Answering life’s toughest questions like “how to food” and “is it safe to buy advil from Mexico.”
May 12: “does butter have carbs” –Surprisingly no, no carbs in butter.
May 7: “baby its 3 a.m. and I must be lonely” –Looks like I was looking for the Matchbox 20 song…
May 3: “a nation’s pride (1944)” –A fictional movie from the movie Inglorious Bastards.
April 3: “how many days in April” –Appropriately asked on April 3.
March 27: “mens book club near me” –This one wasn’t my idea…
March 24: “when guys brunch” –I don’t remember what was going on here… I do like brunch though.
March 21: “suddenly i don’t feel so insecure” –Strange I know but it’s a Sum 41 song.
March 21: “why do we have social security” –Mainly to decrease poverty for the elderly and protect people from poor financial investments.
March 19: “urban dictionary keeping it real” Find out what happens when keeping it real goes wrong here.
March 17: “fake news” –Lots of news about fake news.
March 14: “is charles schwab a bank” –I think so but the fact that I had to ask that question means I probably shouldn’t be using them.
March 12: “Can I spray paint beer bottles?” –Yes its generally safe if you ever have the need, just don’t get paint near the cap.
Ryan Gets Iced for the First Time with Commentary from Andres Cantor
The Texting and Waiting Game… A Statistical Analysis
I really hope this isn’t too confusing but here’s the basic hypothesis:
If it takes you a really long time to text me back, is that going to affect how long I take before replying to your text? I’ll test this hypothesis on three (unbeknownst to them) test subjects; my girlfriend (Brittany), my sister (Erin), and a guy friend (Harrison). But let’s start with our null hypothesis…
Here’s a graph assuming the Texting and Waiting game is an exact science. In this model if it takes you 4 minutes to respond to my text, I’ll wait exactly 4 minutes before responding to your text.
PSA Brittany is my girlfriend. It looks like I respond to her texts pretty quickly here no matter what… I know better than that.
So this data is a little skewed because most of the texts are all clustered around (0,0). It looks like it takes Erin (my sister) a long time to respond every now and then 🙂
My buddy Harrison is notoriously bad at texting… but then again it doesn’t look like I’m all that better. Notice the axes quickly jump up to 16,000 minutes aka 11 days.
In Conclusion, I don’t have a conclusive conclusion on the Texting and Waiting Game. If anything, I think the time it takes me to respond to your text depends more on our relationship than how long it took you to respond.
As always, every post ends in a poll:
Sporcle Quizzes That Are Worth Your Time
What is Sporcle? One might ask… It’s kind of like “Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader” meets a 12 hour TV marathon of Jeopardy. But there’s thousands of games on this website and you’re a busy person, so here’s the best of the best (of the best).
Can you name the movies from this portion of their posters?
This one is my personal favorite. The quiz will show part of a movie poster (like Ghostbusters or The Incredibles) and you have to remember what movie it came from.
Can you name the missing words from these 2000s hit song lyrics?
I bet you can’t remember all the lyrics to Hey Ya! and Ignition Remix.
Can you name the 4-letter words that will complete each of the clichés in this word ladder?
Word ladders are really cool. It’s a series of trivia questions and each answer shares 3 of the 4 letters with the answer above and below it. Is that too confusing? Here’s an easy one to get you started.
Can you name the corporate logos?
This quiz shows a bunch of corporate logos and you have to answer with who’s logo it is. See how much of a sell-out you are…
Can you name the 7 Sins, Dwarfs, and Spice Girls?
This is a matching quiz so maybe a little bit easier. I almost had it until I forgot all the Spice Girls.
Family Feud
Okay, so this one isn’t technically on Sporcle, but it still deserves an hour of your attention. It’s exactly what you think it is… Family Feud on your computer.
If you want to keep playing, there’s usually a button in the bottom left-hand corner for “Next Quiz,” or if you’re feeling lucky hit “Random Quiz” in the top right. Meanwhile, I’ve been back on Stumble Upon, so be on the lookout for “The Best of StumbleUpon: Part 2.” Here’s a recap in case you missed Part 1.
Choose Your Own Mystery Blog
One of my blog’s Board of Directors (aka my mom) has been asking when she should be expecting my next post. I’ve been running with a couple different topics, so I figured I’d let you decide what you’d like to see next. Kind of like a choose-your-own-mystery kinda thing.
So here’s the working titles of several posts, vote for as many as you would read, and write in your own response!
I really don’t have a lot going on right now, so even if you write something really, really dumb, I’ll give it a shot.
The Best of StumbleUpon in One Page
Or how I reached Level 24 of the Internet. I never meant to reach 24,000 page views on Stumble Upon, but here we are. Here’s the best of the best of the best.
This post is going down in three parts: Part 1: “Stumble Upon”, A photo Essay by Ryan Kelley. Part 2: Links that you better click on or I’ll be mad at you. And Part 3: Funny Youtube Videos that I promise you haven’t seen before.
If you only click on one thing from this post, make it SeeHearParty.com. Where else can you find a video of George W Bush breakdancing to techno music with puppies in the background? And it’s customizable! (Note: You must be on a computer and Google Chrome Browser for this to work).
Find out why Craigslist is really dangerous in E-mails from an Asshole. This guy Mike goes on Craigslist and haunts people with hilarious insults, overkills, and misreads.
Have you ever had the feeling that all a professional DJ does is press play and then dance around a bit? Well now you can too! iWebDJ.com allows you to mix two songs together and play around with loops, sound effects, and filters until you believe you can too.
Brittany swears some of these videos aren’t real, but I promise they are. Check out, Anything is Possible, highlights include BMX backflips on a tricycle, throwing a girl through a basketball net, and (my favorite) jumping hands free into a car window.
The 21st Century is a great time to be alive.
See why Remi Gaillard probably got arrested for doing sports wrong.
The answer to the age old question…. “is mayonnaise an instrument?”
Find out how one black man defeated the entire KKK and left them looking foolish.
COMING SOON: “Stumble Upon Part II,” A guest column by Becca Martin
The big "R" in Ryan 