Over Christmas, my sister was looking for an apple pie recipe. My mom found this book, “Yummy Apple Recipes” from Erin’s first grade class. I’m no expert but some of these recipes don’t look quite right… In fact, some of these might be dangerous. Here are some of the pages from that book, ranked from “most worst” to “least worst.” I even tried making a few…

1. Erin’s Apple Pie:
Ingredients: There are only three ingredients?? I’m concerned.
Instructions: Confusing… It says to “Cook it in the oven at 12”??
Is it edible? No! It tasted like scrambled eggs on top of a cooked apple.

 

2. Kendall’s Apple Honey
Ingredients: What?? The recipe calls for “20 bumble bees”?? (I used honey instead).
Instructions: On par for a first grader… “Smoosh the apples.” Lol.
Is it edible? Yeah, it was okay. Just okay.

 

3. Sarah Katherine’s Apple Cookies
Ingredients: These seem to be the right ingredients but the wrong amounts. It turned into a liquid mess so I made pancakes instead.
Instructions: Close, but no.
Is it edible? Somewhat. With some work, apple pancakes is a great idea.

 

4. Megan’s Apple Milkshake:
Ingredients: Raw eggs and flour in a milkshake?? That’s a no from me dawg. 
Instructions: Please don’t make this at home.
Is it edible? No!

 

5. Colin’s Apple Cider:
Ingredients: There’s more sugar than water??
Instructions: No way this would blend.
Is it edible? Maybe if you want diabetes.

 

6. Brooke’s Apple Ice Cream:
Ingredients: The recipe calls for 3 apples and 2 gallons of sugar?? This should be called Sugar Ice Cream.
Instructions: To be brief, this isn’t how you make ice cream.
Is it edible? I wouldn’t recommend it, no.

 

7. Mackenzie’s Apple Popsicles
Ingredients: She wants to use frozen milk as a Popsicle base??
Instructions: Unfortunately, these Popsicles are never going to freeze in the refrigerator.
Is it edible? I guess….

 

8. Ryan’s Apple Men (Not me)
Ingredients: Apples and pretzels.
Instructions: It’s kind of dumb… but it worked.
Is it edible? I don’t know why you would eat this, but you could.

 

9. Logan’s Apple Juice
Ingredients: Basic. 
Instructions: I’m impressed at the level of detail. Evidently, “11 minutes” is the perfect amount of time to chill your apple juice.
Is it edible? Yes!

 

Check out my other cooking related blog posts:

How to Food: The One Where Ryan Learns How to Cook and Can Teach You Too

Less than Four and Under 20: Ryan Learns How to Cook and So Can You! (Part 2)