Will the real BigRin please stand up? A guest column by George Oliver

Ryan Kelley/Ryan Kelly.  It’s a surprisingly generic name, and it’s tough to keep all of them straight.  For those of you that have struggled to understand where our beloved blogger fits in the world of Ryan Kellys/Kelleys, no need to fear!  My good friend has compiled an unbiased ranking of all these people (that we know), factoring qualities such as athleticism, intelligence, musical ability, proper spelling of “Ryan Kelley”, and blog quality.

Unranked – R Kelly

 You may have expected R Kelly’s great musical ability to give him a fighting shot in these rankings, but you thought wrong because his first name is Robert.  He’s not even remotely qualified for this competition.

T-6^th – Ryan Kelley and Ryan Kelley

     

We actually don’t know too much about these Ryan Kelleys (we just discovered them in a Facebook search five seconds ago), but they both went to a couple dumb ag schools (NC State and Cornell), so they really can’t be much.

5^th – Ryan Kelly

 

A basketball player for Duke and the Los Angeles Lakers, Ryan Kelly has some reasonable athletic prowess.  But one look at his face and it’s clear he has zero musical prowess.  His Duke degree may seem impressive, but it’s actually pretty lackluster as far as Ryan Kelleys go.  Blog post is nonexistent and name is misspelled.  Actually, he’s just an embarrassment of a Ryan Kelley.

4^th – Ryan Kelly

 

A three-time national champion and unanimous All American at Alabama, Ryan Kelly is currently tearing it up in the NFL because he is a physical beast.   Unfortunately, his education is not up to par, and his name is still spelled wrong, so he fails to reach the podium.

3^rd – Ryan Kelly

A graduate of Brown, where he won the Ivy League Championships in the 200M at track, Ryan Kelly clearly has both intelligence and athleticism.  However, his musical prowess and blog’s existence is TBD.  Plus, his name is still wrong.  Clearly his Brown degree didn’t teach him how to spell.

 2^nd – Ryan Kelley

Ryan Kelley had a respectable track career at the US Naval Academy, with a 5K time as fast as 14 minutes 24 seconds.  We can assume his brains and athleticism are the reason why our military has been destroying ISIS left and right in recent months.  Sadly, he seems to keep a low-profile due to his tenure in the military, so there is no blog to judge him by.  He would’ve been a clear winner otherwise because let’s be real; this Ryan slays.

1^st – TheBigRinRyan

This Ryan Kelley is the real deal.  He’s squared up with Chris Paul in basketball (above) in addition to killing the JV Cross Country scene in High School.  He can play just about any Guitar Hero song on medium.  His name is spelled correctly.  Plus, he has a quality education from the prestigious University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and writes a world-class blog with no less than 26 views on any given post.  With all due respect to Ryan Kelley, this Ryan Kelley is the clear-cut greatest Ryan Kelley.

Editor’s note: George Oliver did not receive any compensation for this article.