Dad jokes

Things I Learned From My Dad

/ rkelleyc / 6 Comments

These aren’t just things he says, these are things he does.

With boats, don’t ask how much it’s going to cost
You don’t want to know. Just do it.

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Always stay “in the park”
Whether it’s Disney Land or the Grand Canyon, you want to be where the action is.

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Don’t sit around in your pajamas all morning
As soon as you wake up, make the bed, brush your teeth, and put on your clothes for the day.

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How to make the perfect omelet
The secret is creativity. My favorites so far are a lasagna-omelet combination, and an omelet with Smithfields barbeque.

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Leave it better than you found it
Always leave the kitchen a little bit cleaner, or the campsite a little better off. It works for just about anything.

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Attitude is a choice
My dad and Bryan (Erin’s fiancé) went deep-sea fishing, and had “a perfect day and a great time.” Later on, we learned that it was a really rough day at sea and lots of people got sea-sick. But my dad never complained. He never even brought it up. He kept a positive attitude.

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How to Serve
I graduated from Troop 934 in 2012, but my dad stuck with it. He’s mentored dozens of Scouts and even serves on the Eagle Scout Advisory Board. The picture below shows all the mentorship pins Scouts have given him.

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Go big or go home
How many other little league baseball coaches wear the FULL uniform? That’s going big in my book.

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BONUS: An update to a previous blog post, Wise Words of Wisdom from my dad, featuring the best dad quotes of the year.
“Hot yoga? I thought that was the dress code”.
“My Bluetooth speaker doesn’t work anymore”. “Dad, that’s an alarm clock.”
“That was back in 1960 b.c… ‘before computers’.”
“Can we ride the goats?”

Wise Words of Wisdom from my dad

/ rkelleyc / 1 Comment

My dad’s a pretty cool guy. So cool that I’ve never seen him wear a t-shirt. When it’s cold outside, he even doubles up and wears two collared shirts. Here are just a few of the funny things he says.

“Yeah I had the chance to study abroad too. It was called the army.”

“My name is Mr. Kelley but you can call me by my first name…… Sir.”

Steve on Jos A Banks: “Buy one get four free? I’m not going till its buy one get five free!”

Mom: “Aw Steve, what a nice card”  Dad: “Yeah I told Hallmark what to write.”

Me: “It’s like 50 degrees in here, can you turn the heat on?” Dad: “What do you want, a jacket for Christmas?”

Client: “Who should I make this check out to?” Dad: “Just make it out to Obama, he’s getting all of it anyway.”

Dad: “Oh wow, Laura, you got your hair done! It looks great!” Mom: “No, that’s tomorrow.” Dad: “Oh.”

How to get free movie rentals: A short guide by Steve Kelley

Three free Redbox Movies (No purchase necessary). One time my dad rented a movie at Redbox, but the disc was scratched and wouldn’t play… So he did what any other Baby Boomer what do. He wrote a note explaining the problem and requesting a refund, taped it to the DVD, and put it back in the machine. About a month later, he received an apology from Redbox in the mail along with a refund AND three free movies.

Two for the Price of One (Good at any movie store). Another time my dad was really excited to watch a Blu-Ray movie he just rented. However, at the time, we still had an old-school tube TV, so it obviously wouldn’t play. He took the movie back to Family Video, where they patiently explained the difference between Blu-Ray and DVD, and threw in two free movie rentals.