Author: rkelleyc

Wise Words of Wisdom from my dad

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My dad’s a pretty cool guy. So cool that I’ve never seen him wear a t-shirt. When it’s cold outside, he even doubles up and wears two collared shirts. Here are just a few of the funny things he says.

“Yeah I had the chance to study abroad too. It was called the army.”

“My name is Mr. Kelley but you can call me by my first name…… Sir.”

Steve on Jos A Banks: “Buy one get four free? I’m not going till its buy one get five free!”

Mom: “Aw Steve, what a nice card”  Dad: “Yeah I told Hallmark what to write.”

Me: “It’s like 50 degrees in here, can you turn the heat on?” Dad: “What do you want, a jacket for Christmas?”

Client: “Who should I make this check out to?” Dad: “Just make it out to Obama, he’s getting all of it anyway.”

Dad: “Oh wow, Laura, you got your hair done! It looks great!” Mom: “No, that’s tomorrow.” Dad: “Oh.”

How to get free movie rentals: A short guide by Steve Kelley

Three free Redbox Movies (No purchase necessary). One time my dad rented a movie at Redbox, but the disc was scratched and wouldn’t play… So he did what any other Baby Boomer what do. He wrote a note explaining the problem and requesting a refund, taped it to the DVD, and put it back in the machine. About a month later, he received an apology from Redbox in the mail along with a refund AND three free movies.

Two for the Price of One (Good at any movie store). Another time my dad was really excited to watch a Blu-Ray movie he just rented. However, at the time, we still had an old-school tube TV, so it obviously wouldn’t play. He took the movie back to Family Video, where they patiently explained the difference between Blu-Ray and DVD, and threw in two free movie rentals.

Overheard in Spain

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  • Looking at a field of cows: “Wow, look at all of those goats!”
  • “Oh, you mean six o’clock in the afternoon?”
  • Host mom to host son: “If you get the tattoo, I’m not going to give you money to go out with your friends this weekend.” (He’s 30)
  • Me trying to explain where I’m from:
    – “I’m from Winston-Salem in North Carolina… It’s kind of near Raleigh or Charlotte? …Like the south east part of the United States? …On the Atlantic Ocean side? …I guess it’s sort of close to Washington D.C…”
    – “Ooh I know where that is!”
  • -“Yeah it wasn’t too expensive. It was 70 euro round trip.”
    -“Oh 35 each way isn’t bad!”
    -“No it was 70 round trip.”
  • Teacher: “For your presentation, choose a small, local company.”
    Girl: “How about Nike?”
    Me: “I think he means a small, one-office company with less than 50 employees.”
    Girl: “What about Ryan Air?”
  • “There’s only two rules on the bus, you can drink… Actually, I guess that’s the only rule.”
  • Teacher: I’m so sorry I forgot to come to class earlier this week. And especially to Matt because I waved at him as he was on the way to the class, and I still forgot.
  • “Please be on time… Please only be ten minutes late”
  • Teacher looking at an empty class: “Where is everyone? Was there a party last night?”